You nag me to go grocery shopping, and make sure I “get food for you too.” You tell me to put the dishes in the washing machine. You ask me to put the clean dishes away more often because you feel like you’re always doing that. You ask me to make sure the garbage is out on trash day, and often check that the recycling made it out too. You argue with me, quite loudly, sometimes in front of the baby and mostly regarding parenting style. You play with the baby but only for about 30 minutes every couple I days. After that you’ve gotten your fix and need to “relax” by watching tv in bed. You’re only home about three nights a week so when the baby prefers you to me, my heart breaks knowing your love is conditional; based on your mood. You give him gifts sometimes, expecting that I will return the favor to you. You ask me to make sure I clean up the mess wemake before making another one but most of the time you grumpily clean up the “mess” we are playing with. I’ve never asked you to pay a single bill, and actually have offered to cover your tail a time or two In the recent past. I’ve supported you emotionally countless times and last time I needed a listening ear you were “too tired”

You are not my husband, not my boyfriend, nor the father of my son. You’re not my mom….you’re my sister. One without children, who is working full time, who doesn’t even pay your own phone bill and yet incapable somehow of living in your own house. Please, tell me sister. What is the difference between our dysfunctional living situation and an absentee, emotionally abusive co-parent? I thought by choosing to move away from him and cross the country I would have moved awayfrom exactly this. Doesn’t he deserve a better childhood than this?

“Have you noticed the fridge is full?”
“Yes….I’m making my lunch…”
“Hey, So the garbage just got picked up.”
“Yeah I heard that too”
“I mean personally, I wouldn’t let my kids do that…”


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